Project Glowyrm

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The eyes.

The terrible eyes!

Fearsome, isn’t it? Originally constructed to crush the aspirations of other art students and laser their snacks, it guarded a hoard of Legos within an old box until a day ago. Now it freely surveys the desk of the fool who freed it… dreaming of electric flame.

It does not sleep. It does not eat. It complies with all FCC regulations… and it will never give up. There is no escape.

Comments

10 Comments so far. Comments are closed.
  1. Nice cardboard composite construction there. Very high tech, just the way dragons like it. 😀

  2. Kate,

    Doom has befallen our snack-loving nation!! D:

  3. Sam,

    So now we know what the ancients used to model the sphinx after. Intense…

    Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to hide my hoard of snacks.

  4. ratchetcat,

    Well… uh… this is awkward. Have any of you seen Project Glowyrm near your snack vaults? It was safely smoldering on my desk this morning, but gone when I came home. Along with the pantry… and a nearby supermarket.

    Judging by the carbon footprints and forest fires, we believe it went toward Minnesota. I sent a team of stone gargoyles in its wake, but honestly, those guys are basically flying snacks. They’ll get lasered for sure.

    The engineering boys think it can be stopped by crushing the hopes of a large group of art students in its vicinity. That should flip the depression circuit and shut it down for a period of at least ten years… which should give us time to bury it, rediscover it, write a book discussing the dichotomy inherent in its existence, and bury it again upside-down.

  5. Sam,

    D: Minnesota?!? Far too close to home than I find comfortable.

    QUICK, to the colleges! We must crush the students hopes! Should we be destroying their dreams as well?

  6. ratchetcat,

    Okay — let’s invite them all to a snack warehouse directly in the path of the monster. How about the St. Paul Central Snack Warehouse, Amusement Park, and Fireworks Armory?

    We’ll need someone to meet the students there and crush their bright, crystalline dreams with the iron boot of bleak reality — someone jaded, chain smoking, and smelling of cheap booze. A quick slide presentation regarding the income of the average artist should do the job.

  7. Kate,

    But where will we keep our fireworks!?!?!

  8. Sam,

    Wow they have that there?? HOW CONVENIENT.

    Sure, I’ll find some hobo who doesn’t value his life, and wishes to only bring down the hopes of others. Then.. THEN WE GET OUR SHOVELS MY FRIENDS.

    I guess we’ll have to store our fireworks in our.. convenient ‘pretty explosives’ vault?

  9. ratchetcat,

    You’re right — there’s too much inventory. We need to move these ‘pretty explosives’ fast.

    Let’s adjust public perception. These aren’t “fireworks” — they’re “decorative candles” or “spark candy”! Move the inventory through multiple shell companies… frame the executive directors… sell the movie rights… and BINGO! PAYDAY!

  10. Here’s how to crush a student’s hope: tell them the government’s broke, your school’s broke, you need to go get a job. All of their parent’s remaining funds on their student cards will promptly be spent at the nearest liquor store that takes the universities debit card, buy booze, and trade that booze to some homeless dudes in the park for black tar heroin and some dirty needles (probably more like Rusty Nails brand syringe than Silent Mosquitos). This will also save you the trouble of your sparkly shell game (though you can still run that for fun if you like).

    The art student’s massive heroin binge may be so large that it may actually create a spacetime depression so large it opens up a wyrmhole and solves this problem forever.

    “But doesn’t a wyrmhole open up somewhere else, and wouldn’t the Glowyrm just get mad and come back to snack the whole earth dow-”

    FOREVER!

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