Category Books

Ever Closer

“The cube seemed to float ever closer…”

While sorting awful attic books the other day, I kept myself sane by listening to Vernor Vinge’s Fast Times at Fairmont High. This neat little story takes place in the same setting and parallel to the events in Rainbow’s End. On reflection, it may even reveal the cause of some of the events in the latter novel.

If you’d like to sample some of Vinge’s ideas, I recommend that you listen to the speech he gave last year as part of The Long Now Foundation’s Seminars About Long-term Thinking. The speech centers on the concept of ‘failed singularities’ but goes into some of the details of the afore-mentioned books, as well. As usual for Vinge, the ideas are gargantuan and wonderfully compelling.

A recording is available in MP3 or Ogg Vorbis format.

Awful Attic Books

As previously discussed, one of the great unremarked environmental hazards of attic mining is exposure to bad books. Mild extracts of these terrors are depicted in the photographs collected below.

Readers are encouraged to close their browser windows immediately if they experience any feeling of nausea or sudden affinity for the following subject matter.

The title of the first book is Blender Cooking. This is a euphemistic phrase for the construction of things which should not be — like green wobblies and blender mayonnaise. (Hint: those are also euphemisms!)

The result of consuming such delicacies? Melting eyeballs.

Front Cover

Green wobblies are always better with blender-made mayonnaise!

I'm blind!

The second book is titled But Maggie Wanted A PONY. Oh, really? It’s nice to want things! Unexpected bonus: a cameo appearance by Chuck Norris.

Front Cover

Back Cover

Finally, we have The Scrambled Yeggs — a detective novel penned by Richard S. Prather. In keeping with the style of prose, the front cover of the volume — painted by Robert E. McGinnis — depicts something vaguely salacious and offensive.

Try reading the back cover in the voice Billy West uses for Futurama’s Zap Brannigan. That is especially choice. Checkmate!

Front Cover

Front Cover

Shell Scott... makes awkward analogies involving clocks.