As previously discussed, one of the great unremarked environmental hazards of attic mining is exposure to bad books. Mild extracts of these terrors are depicted in the photographs collected below.
Readers are encouraged to close their browser windows immediately if they experience any feeling of nausea or sudden affinity for the following subject matter.
The title of the first book is Blender Cooking. This is a euphemistic phrase for the construction of things which should not be — like green wobblies and blender mayonnaise. (Hint: those are also euphemisms!)
The result of consuming such delicacies? Melting eyeballs.
The second book is titled But Maggie Wanted A PONY. Oh, really? It’s nice to want things! Unexpected bonus: a cameo appearance by Chuck Norris.
Finally, we have The Scrambled Yeggs — a detective novel penned by Richard S. Prather. In keeping with the style of prose, the front cover of the volume — painted by Robert E. McGinnis — depicts something vaguely salacious and offensive.
Try reading the back cover in the voice Billy West uses for Futurama’s Zap Brannigan. That is especially choice. Checkmate!